Steps to minimise Divorce fear & trauma

With the introduction of ‘no fault divorce’ under the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020 which became law on 6 April 2022, has meant that the requirement to blame or assign a specific reason or cause to the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage has been removed from the divorce process. This has helped to ease some of the hurt and stress that comes from the process of separating and divorcing, and lessen the likelihood of a long acrimonious fight.

These are a few top tips to help:

1. Take your time. Make sure it is what you want, it’s a big decision, life-changing and one not to be taken lightly.
2. Understand your finances. It’s important to get current values of your matrimonial assets including property, pensions, savings, investments, business interests and chattels.
3. Consider your housing requirements. What are your needs, if you have children how much time will they spend with you, are you the main carer? Consider expenses for the children including current and future education costs. Consider future one-off expenditure items such as a car or making provision for house maintenance.
4. Consider how much income you need to fund your lifestyle by breaking down your expenditure into essential, lifestyle and discretionary spends. A cash flow forecast can provide you with a good understanding of your expenditure needs over time. It’s very important that the assumptions you use are reasoned and reasonable. As Certified Financial Planners we spend time discussing these assumptions with you before finalising a cash flow forecast.
5. Consider mediation. This keeps the line of communication flowing without lawyers’ letters. If you can agree on a fair solution via mediation it will save time, legal fees, and help keep relationships more positive.
6. Consider using an online divorce service. Companies such as amicable provide expert divorce coaches and can work with you as a couple. Again this can help you save on legal fees and time.
7. Consider your children, put them first, you will always be their parents even if apart.
8. Consider self-care, ensure you have someone to talk to, surround yourself with those that are supportive. Every divorce outcome is different, so don’t take too much heed on what other people say about their own divorce experience.
9. Take legal advice if you feel the amicable route is not going to be an option.
10. Negotiate from a position of knowledge, not emotion. Understanding the process of divorce and gaining a handle on your finances will place you in a stronger position and save time.

Summary

Focus on your future, not your past. When you are prepared and in control, you are likely to feel more confident going through the divorce process and out the other side.